Revolver

I gave him my heart
He took it out my hands
I told him I loved him
He said, “I understand”

But I needed more than his understanding
I needed his constant touch
His language of love
His rhythmic beats and steady dance
I needed him to equivocally place his heart in my hands

His love’s a revolver, the bullets his words,
every chamber filled with emotions that come at me as a blur
When the world shuts me out
He lets me in
Then I’m flipped upside down and I cant even start to begin
I don’t understand why our love is like a revolving door
I go around and around until I have no choice but to fall on the floor

He’s made me cry, I’ve caused him hurt
Though funny through it all our bond has never broke
I wont let him go so easily
And I wont allow myself to be that free
I’m lost in a state of confusion as I question what he finds to love in me

Their words fill my ears
His anger my thoughts
My reasoning leads me to believe this is another battle better not fought
I need, I need & he wants & he takes
I feel like his simple convenience when he wants to be bothered he comes around,
then turns and walks away

He’s a constant revolver, never needs reloading…
His shots shatter & break me down
…Left in the shadows I feel myself go weak
Irritated && hurt but yet I can’t speak,
Can’t say what I want nor what I wish
But I keep holding on…
& I go
& we go
Around & Around…