Kenton’s Corner: Discussions About Domestic Violence

Kenton Gibbs| Staff Writer

October is the awareness month for many things. One of which is domestic violence. The timing of Domestic Violence Awareness Month colliding with Donald Trump’s antics as well as The Lifetime biopic “Surviving Compton: Dre, Suge & Michel’le” couldn’t be more coincidental. Trump’s comments as well as those of his accusers got the conversation started. The movie blew the lid off the conversation about domestic violence. As usual, there are people on every side of this argument. The only possible defense for Trump’s comments were that they took place 11 years ago. With Andre Young, who performs under the moniker Dr. Dre, many people in the Twitterverse instantly came to attack him, while some said that they simply didn’t believe Michel’le’s claims.

The sad part about the Michel’le non believers is that there is verifiable evidence that Young did hit women. This evidence includes a 2015 apology issued from him to the “three women he hurt” in a 2015 New York Times article. The movie may have dramatized or embellished certain incidents, but it also might have been a proper depiction. If he hit any woman one time, he committed this heinous act one time too many. The defenses that have been offered up for Young as well as many other woman beaters are truly repulsive.

The most common defense I hear is that she should have left as soon as it happened the first time. Phrases like “Once a victim, twice a volunteer” shows that the victim-blaming attitude is all too common. It is beyond repulsive to become desensitized to domestic abuse because a woman makes the choice to not leave the man who hit her. An action isn’t made okay because of someone’s belief that their partner will change. The “nerve” of these women believing in the decency of men that they trust to love and protect them.

Another problem that is more specific to the black community in America is the idea that “it’s none of my business.” In the aforementioned movie, Young was depicted as abusing her publicly without fear of repercussion. He did not hesitate at the thought that one of his fellow N.W.A. members could physically stop him. He was also so confident no one would call the cops that he was frequently abusive in public.

The worst part of the “none of my business” mindset is that we choose what is our business to speak on in other people’s lives. Many people make who’s sleeping with whom and whether or not people’s designer clothes are real their business. But another person’s physical, mental, and emotional abuse is no ones business. Seems as though we have our priorities misplaced by a bit.

Lastly, I feel the need to let all men know this tiny detail. Women should not be protected and cared about based on our connection to them. Many members of the GOP stopped supporting Trump and in their statements about this disavowal they said something like, “As a father of 3 daughters” or “As a husband of 24 years”. I guess if you’re single and daughterless what Trump said is supposed to be okay. I’m offended, disgusted, and repulsed as a human being. Not as an uncle to three nieces or a son of 21 years. These men have not created sexual assault apologists or misogynistic lines of thought, they have only done a superb job of exposing the fact that these already exist.

**The Nubian Message would like to encourage anyone experiencing domestic violence, regardless of gender, to seek help immediately. InterAct of Wake County has hotlines open 24 hours a day to victims of domestic violence they can be reached toll-free at 866-291-0855. NCSU’s Sexual Violence Helpline is 919-515-4444.**