Penny’s guide to being a good white friend

Penny Lawrence | Correspondent

Navigating the fine line between supportive and overbearing can be tricky, but if you mean the things you say and understand that while you may support another culture it is not your culture, you’ll be fine. To clarify, just because you love and respect black culture, that sure as hell doesn’t mean saying the n-word is appropriate. That is a word that was used out of hatred for a very long time. It took a powerful wave of determination to make it a possession of the black community. It was taken and owned. Do not ever attempt to take it back.

This is different if the culture you support is one surrounding a religion. If you truly believe in the values of the religion, then give it your all. Take pride in what you believe and stand with the people that feel the same way.

It’s also important to keep an opened mind. You can never truly understand what it feels like to be of another color. So you can’t forget to listen to what your people say. You’ll always be learning and reaching for an understanding that you know you’ll never achieve. Don’t pretend that you do. That’s an easy way to offend and hurt people.

There aren’t a lot of big things you can do to help support your culturally different friends, but there are millions of little ways. Don’t just expect them to teach you about their culture and beliefs. Do research. Ask questions. Let them know that you’re interested in who they are, and that you understand their culture is a part of that. Try not to be offended because you don’t understand everything they say. Things often don’t mean what you think they mean. Never be afraid to ask.

Remember that culture can be special because it’s exclusive. Don’t expect to be a part of that world. Try to make a comfortable environment achievable around you if you want to be included. Don’t intrude on an already exclusive environment unless you’re invited. You don’t want your friend from class happily showing up to your grandfather’s funeral, so don’t show up to their cookout! If you are invited to something exclusive, be respectful. Take that opportunity to learn more about your friends. Be honored!

Something else I think is extremely important, stand up for people. If some jerk on a bus calls all Muslims terrorists, throw some facts in their face. If you see someone being bullied, stop them. Use your privilege.

Privilege took me a while to understand, but now I do. You may not have privilege in all aspects of life, but if you can go through society without being immediately judged and mistreated based off of your physical appearance, an aspect you can’t control, then you have privilege.

Everyone has privilege in some way or another, no matter who they are. Use that privilege, not just as a barrier, but as a bridge. Help get people’s voices heard. Sometimes that means speaking for them. Sometimes that means you being the one to approach a policeman for directions.

The last thing I’ll say is be considerate. Keep them in mind when you are about to post something on social media. Think before you speak. You support someone because you care about them. You can tell them that all you want, and you should, but show, don’t just tell.

Navigating the fNavigating the fine line between supportive and overbearing can be tricky, but if you mean the things you say and understand that while you may support another culture it is not your culture, you’ll be fine. To clarify, just because you love and respect black culture, that sure as hell doesn’t mean saying the n-word is appropriate. That is a word that was used out of hatred for a very long time. It took a powerful wave of determination to make it a possession of the black community. It was taken and owned. Do not ever attempt to take it back.

This is different if the culture you support is one surrounding a religion. If you truly believe in the values of the religion, then give it your all. Take pride in what you believe and stand with the people that feel the same way..

There aren’t a lot of big things you can do to help support your culturally different friends, but there are millions of little ways. Keep an opened mind.You’ll always be learning and that’s okay. Don’t just expect them to be taught about other cultures and beliefs. Do research. Ask questions. Let them know that you’re interested in who they are, and that you understand their culture is a part of that. Try not to be offended because you don’t understand everything they say. Things often don’t mean what you think they mean. Never be afraid to ask.

Remember that culture can be special because it’s exclusive. Don’t expect to be a part of that world. Try to make a comfortable environment achievable around you if you want to be included. Don’t intrude on an already exclusive environment unless you’re invited. You don’t want your friend from class happily showing up to your grandfather’s funeral, so don’t show up to their cookout! If you are invited to something exclusive, be respectful. Take that opportunity to learn more about your friends. Be honored!

Something else I think is extremely important, stand up for people. If some jerk on a bus calls all Muslims terrorists, throw some facts in their face. If you see someone being bullied, stop them. Use your privilege.

Privilege took me a while to understand, but now I do. You may not have privilege in all aspects of life, but if you can go through society without being immediately judged and mistreated based off of your physical appearance, an aspect you can’t control, then you have privilege.

Everyone has privilege in some way or another, no matter who they are. Use that privilege, not just as a barrier, but as a bridge. Help get people’s voices heard. Sometimes that means speaking for them. Sometimes that means you being the one to approach a policeman for directions.

The last thing I’ll say is be considerate. Keep them in mind when you are about to post something on social media. Think before you speak. You support someone because you care about them. You can tell them that all you want, and you should, but show, don’t just tell.